It is Halloween people and here at gHacks we are all feeling the chill in the air as the sprits walk the earth. So in keepng with that feeling, let’s revisit those memories that have left us scarred for life. Those hair raising tales of gore that still give us nightmares. Yes, I am talking about those times when the iPhone failed. And failed so very spectacularly that it made headlines.
But our nightmares are nothing compared to the debilitating fear that gripped the hearts of the Apple PR folks who handled those deadly times. A prayer for those poor souls before we start recounting the tales of horror.
No, we are not cheering the thing in any way. The tales are quite tragic really. Poor things never knew what hit them. I am talking about those poor iPhones that have been exploding all over the world.
There's ones about a French guy who had his handset explode on him while he was texting his girlfriend. Man, that must’ve been one hot text message! But it wasn’t all that funny for him because a glass shard hit him in the eye and he had to remove it with a tweezer.
Mamma mia! That must’ve been painful. Before this incident, a similar thing had happened to a French teenager whose girlfriend’s iPhone exploded in his hand.
You know, this whole thing about girlfriends and exploding iPhones needs to be hacked at from another angle. May be the Language of Love is too hot for the iPhone to handle. [read]
When it’s not exploding outright, it is cracking itself. May be it was that stale joke that repeated for the hundredth time over supper or may be it was your relentless bathroom singing. Whatever it was, it definitely left a spectacular impression on your iPhone.
The screen completely cracked up, looking like some sort of carefully made art installation. This is nothing new to iPhone users all over the world. In fact, some have reportedly made comments about the iPhone not being “all that it is cracked up to be”.
But we know that some clowns have actually dropped their iPhones to achieve the effect. Do you know that some people have to dunk their phones in beer to get a new iPhone?
Usually, waking up is not the high point of my day. Being dragged out from under the sheets is a feeling I am all too familiar to. But it looks like I am in good company. The iPhone recently refused to be woken up from sleep, no matter how much you coaxed it with connectivity or a charging point. Sometimes, the technology we build starts to mimic us and we obviously don't like that. Man, I would hate to have a PC that throws tantrums, refuses to work unless kicked or coaxed and generally gives me a lot of attitude about everything. Oh wait, I already own a Windows machine. Nevermind.
The iPhone understands that you don’t always want to be on the phone. Receiving calls is not something you always want to do. Hence, it helps you along by suddenly losing all connectivity to the network. Too bad if you were in the middle of something, you have to stop doing that now. It is bad for you. Trust in the iPhone, it knows best.
But then they fixed that too. Apparently people were beginning to shout things like “you are not my dad!” to their phones. Apple could not risk the sanity of their customers I guess. [read]
(Hey, that rhymes!)
Deep in an apartment block, a stolen iPhone calls out for help. Somewhere not too far away, a frantic owner is helped by a cloud intelligence that knows where the iPhone is. The cloud has no physical presence to fetch the thing by itself. So they must work together in order to save the iPhone. As the thief begins to move, the drama unfolds to its daramatic conclusion. [read]
That’s it for this week. Hope you have a great Halloween. Just remember, if you see an unclaimed iPhone – don’t look at it, don’t touch it and don’t take it. You are being watched (especially if you are in London).
Do check out my weekly Apple round up at Otaku Gadgets for everything Apple.Advertisement
Ghacks is a technology news blog that was founded in 2005 by Martin Brinkmann. It has since then become one of the most popular tech news sites on the Internet with five authors and regular contributions from freelance writers.