It's almost 2011 and that means that a whole slew of New Years Resolutions are ready to be made and broken. Every year, it's the same old thing. People say they are going to quit smoking, lose weight, go to the gym, get a new car, make more money, or maybe even change their life in ways that most of us can't begin to imagine. One thing is for sure, most people will resolve to spend less money and to do a better job of budgeting. Another thing is for sure too, most people won't succeed at any of their resolutions. That's why I am only going to make one resolution.
As for me, I plan to save money in a lot of ways in the coming new year. I don't want to make a bunch of resolutions that are only going to get broken, but I can tell you for certain that I'm going to be spending more money next year and I'm probably going to be getting less for it. That means I need to start planning my budget cuts right now.
First to go is going to be golfing. What a waste of money and time. If I were to count all the hours I've wasted chasing that little white ball around the big green fields, it would probably be more of my life than I've spent working. Not only that but the greens fees average out to about $60 per round and when you play three times a week that adds up to about $750 a month. Way too much. Then you add in the lunches, the beers afterwards, and the cost of new irons, drivers, and putters and it is just ridiculous.
Next, I'm going to get rid of my SUV. Gas is just too expensive and as much as I love driving my vintage hummer around town, I've started to feel a little guilty about burning all that oil. It's not the environment so much as the fact that I've started having dreams where I am filling up the tank with the blood of Iraqi kids and American troops. Damn liberal media has finally gotten to me. Besides $3 a gallon is just too much. I'm getting a Harley instead. The way I look at it, I can spend the time I used to go golfing riding my hog around on poker runs.
No more gym membership either. I'm tired of seeing all those spandex clad hotties making eyes at the guys who don't have a pot belly and a back covered in hair. Instead of the gym, I'm going to start running and I've bought a yoga mat for stretching and exercise at home. The truth is the gym hasn't been as successful for me as I expected. From my original 435 pounds I've barely shrunk at all and now I'm weighing in at just 430. That's over ten years. Maintenance isn't the solution. I want to be the 160 pound guy I was back in college.
And that brings me to the biggest place I'm going to save money. Food. I've decided that the reason I'm so big is because I eat so much. It's not that I don't exercise. Plain and simple it's that I eat six meals a day and each of them are enough for three people. I'm going to limit myself to just four meals a day. Breakfast can be regular size. Lunch will be half a sandwich and a bowl of soup. Dinner will be just a salad. And I'll allow myself one late night snack. That's it. No more soda or beer with meals either.
These aren't so much resolutions as they are things that have to be done in order to keep me happy. I considered slashing my internet access too, but when I though about it, it's probably the best value of anything I spend money on. After all, I use it to communicate via email and phone, I send faxes, I download music and movies, I shop, I watch the news, television, and more on it. I even keep a daily journal of my progress towards my goals.
If I were to cut the internet, I think my life would actually suffer since I use it to keep in touch with friends, do business, and entertain myself. Instead, I think a nice thing to get rid of is cable television. What a waste. I don't even watch it any longer. In fact, the last time I watched it was when Friends was still a new show. Yeah, that's definitely going to go. I've got no time for television these days anyway.
In fact, when I imagine cutting the internet, it makes me shiver since I think that would mean severing my connection with my friends and colleagues on Facebook. In addition, I would lose access to the website I am planning on using to get my diet in shape. I wouldn't be able to shop for the best deal on my new Harley or to list my Hummer on Ebay auto auctions so that I can get the best possible price for it. i would have to give up playing cyber golf (which I admit is more addictive than the real game) and my online journal would no longer be available for the world to read it. Okay, I have another admission, the whole world doesn't read my journal but it usually gets five or six visits a day. I would have to give up watching Ugly Betty, downloading Shakira songs, and watching Youtube Star Wars parodies.
Nope, I'm not giving up my high speed connection. That's my resolution for 2011. I resolve to remain connected to the internet, no matter what. Never mind the rest of the resolutions, those are really just a way of giving myself good advice, this is the necessity I need to remain focused on. The internet is my friend and life. I will not give it up.
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Ghacks is a technology news blog that was founded in 2005 by Martin Brinkmann. It has since then become one of the most popular tech news sites on the Internet with five authors and regular contributions from freelance writers.